Fare Thee Well and Safe on Your Journey, my iPad (you large pain in my arse)

Wow. My iPad is leaving me. I feel so sad* to see them go. I'm going to miss them profusely*. I will definitely miss how easy* and quick* it is to type on them. I will definitely miss the camera function and quick tap to take picture button because the scirtbags will not be able to make our little flip-book-movies of each other anymore. I will also miss our Zen Pond very much. It was a nice way to chill and have a little bit of fun when listening and not doing anything else with the iPads anyway. My beloved* iPad, I will miss the great* times we've had. I hope in the future you will find someone who can have even more fun* with you. Please be safe and don't get into too much trouble. Love*, Paul D'Amico, your AFE *word changed as request from teacher and need for common decency of the post P.S. sorry about the title and the asterisks, but I had to get my true feelings out there at some point :P